Eurovision 2014, you win the internet

Thanks to The Independent for alerting us to this, think we found the act we're backing to win Eurovision song contest... we're just going to leave this here...

Singing for Austria, meet Conchita Wurst, aka Tom Neuwirth, who has been performing as his alter ego Conchita since 2011. For this year's contest he will be singing 'Rise Like a Phoenix'. Tom's motto is: 'Be the best version of yourself rather than a bad copy of someone else'. Conchita is a symbol for tolerance and artistic freedom around the world.

Austria, way to prove it, you win the internet.
ORF/Thomas Ramstorfer


BREAKING: We are making a difference (duh)

GUYS! We're doing it; and we are winning!

Look, we never want to hurt the economy, or any one company or another, make people lose jobs or support any kind of economic regression... but the fact of the matter is, there are certain companies that are at the forefront of beardicide and pognophobia... razors, single use or fancy ones with 8000 blades, trimmers, clippers, and other sinister tools of torture, destruction and death.

The companies that support or harbor these terroristic methods, it's no surprise that we have sworn to smoke them out of their holes back in 2008/2009, when B-a-B formed.

Well, beardos and stachemates, today, we are honored to let you know the tide of the war on beards is waning, it's taken a turn; a turn that will stand out as a key moment in time that you will tell your children that the wave finally broke, and rolled back.

Bloomberg reports that beardicide supporter and facial hair villain megacompany Procter & Gamble Co. (PG) has announced that everything from Brooklyn beardos, to Movember, the Red Sox WS win, and other facial hair friendly events and efforts has taken a deep cut into their grooming sales last quarter, Chief Financial Officer Jon Moeller said yesterday on an earnings call.

"P&G’s grooming business, which includes shaving cream, razor blades and deodorant, generated $2.12 billion in revenue during the quarter ended Dec. 31 and accounted for 9.5 percent of the company’s sales. Though the division’s sales rose 3 percent, excluding currency effects, John Faucher, an analyst at JPMorgan Chase & Co. in New York, said in a Jan. 13 note that sales of non-disposable razors and blades fell 7.8 percent in the 12 weeks through Dec. 21. The reason: “Increased interest in facial hair.” 

Congrats everyone, we should all be proud of our efforts, our commitment, resolve and determination to bring about this change. We thank you for teaching ogres like P&G to remember Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." 

Kudos everyone. Remember this day. Onward and upward.

Thank you,

Build-a-Beard Editors

 

Welcome to the party, NYT?

Well gosh... I wonder why it took the New York Times over nearly 5 years to arrive at this conclusion... and to be honest, we are not the least bit surprised it took this long.

Look, I get it. It's the New York *fucking* Times, the paper of record, but c'mon, the bandwagon is totally overflowing by now.This is perhaps just another example about the state of the media, and it's impending doom. Alas, you're welcome world. The brooklyn beard is here (duh), read all about it.

We announced 2010 (2010!) as the year of the beard. It's 2014, the beard decade is nearly halfway over. Welcome to the party, you just became that guy or girl too engrossed with their own appearance that they showed up to the party when everyone is already passed out from having too good a time, without you.

The water is still warm... I guess you can dive in; f you can avoid all the others already swimming about.

The Brooklyn Beard Goes Mainstream

Happy Boxing Day... you wanna fight about it?!

To our dear friends in the United Kingdom, Canada, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, Kenya, South Africa, Trinidad and Tobago and some other Commonwealth nations... HAPPY BOXING DAY!

To all the rest... wanna fight about it?!

 

Love,

B-a-B

PS In the meantime, get this awesome stache fightin' T from Etsy (where else):

Reason 37,391 To Love The Red Sox

As if more reasons were needed to love America's most facial follicle friendly major sports team... the Boston Red Sox hosted its "Dollar Beard Night" promotion during Wednesday's game against the Orioles. The team offered $1 tickets to fans who showed up wearing a beard, real or fake. MAJOR hat-tip to my hometown bearded brethren of the Boston Beard Bureau for making the trek and making themselves heard, as always.

 

What a team (both of them)... they just keep killing it, we dont even dare not to mention the home team's lovely #getbeard promotion... god DAMN I love that team. GO SOX!

That is all, happy Friday.

For Some, Even Facial Hair Doesn't Help

New York Jets 'quarterback' Mark Sanchez clearly didn't learn the lesson about being aware of his surroundings on the field... you of course remember the Butt Fumble against (YOUR) New England Patriots, oh that was great... this time it was on the sidelines, when Jets guard Willie Colon sneaked up behind Sanchez and slapped his ass, only slightly less hard than Sanchez slapped (retired) Jet Brandon Moore... with his FACE.

Anyway... the thing is, Sanchez was sporting a pretty bitchin handlebar stache, maybe that's what attracted his teammates so much to slap his ass, but then again... there are some people, a few sad souls, whom facial hair just doesn't help. You be the judge, click on his (ass) face for video... if you dare.

No Reason IS a Reason

"Men's Wearhouse fires founder George Zimmer; no reason given" read the boldfaced and large fonted LA Times headline... and my heart sank.

As you may know, George Zimmer is the highly recognizable man behind the comforting voice telling men all over the US that he guarantees they will like the way they look... the soft, raspy, paternal even, voice engulfs you as the beard on George's face engulfs his chin... and you believed him. Besides, you never quite knew if he moonlighted as the most interesting man in the world, though you suspected that he probably was.

We don't know why the company severed ties with George, nor do we know if Mr. Zimmer deserved what was coming to him... we just hope that this is not another example in pogonophobia in the corporate world, which we will not accept nor ever lay down our arms against.

There really is just one thing Men's Warehouse can do to prove to us this is not the case... name a replacement with an even bigger, bushier, longer and uncut beard.

So, members of the Men's Warehouse board, the move is yours... #proveit

In a Beard Second, Everything Can Change

We've talked about beard science recently, also beard math a while ago... so why not beard physics?

It has come to our attention from one of our fans Billiam that there is a unit of measurement called a "Beard Second." Per (aka the only source that matters in the history of the world aka throw away your text books and burn your encyclopedias) here is what it says exactly (because copy pasting is the only way to source information):

Beard-second

The beard-second is a unit of length inspired by the light-year, but used for extremely short distances such as those in nuclear physics. The beard-second is defined as the length an average beard grows in one second. Kemp Bennet Kolb defines the distance as exactly 100 angstroms,[9] (i.e. 10 nanometers), as does Nordling and Österman's Physics Handbook.[10] However, Google Calculator supports the beard-second for unit conversions using the value 5 nm,[11] i.e. half the value according to Kolb and Physics Handbook.

Via Class Hack

The item is listed in a long list of other meaning(less)ful measurements in the chapter List of humorous units of measurement which catalogues the many values "people have made use of, or invented... intended primarily for their humor value. This is a list of such units invented by sources that are notable for reasons other than having made the unit itself, and of units that are widely known in the anglophone world for their humor value."

I wonder what the conversion of beard seconds to inches is... y'know, because that'd be more useful, and probably more impressive... to measure my beard length of course...

Our Brotherhood is On Our Face

Can't we all just get along? Apparently not... But hey, getting beards, mustaches, and awareness of pogonophobia on the front page of the Wall Street Journal? Not a bad deal for the facial hair community, net net. Needless to say, one should never let a good crisis go to waste.

PROOF of #provingit

Anyway... Cattiness aside (cats have whiskers too, get it?) we do (and forever will) believe in the brotherhood of the facial hair community. We stand by the attempts, the commitments, the righteous and the hysterical... you can choose not to partake, you can choose to grow it out and grow it proud, you can even choose to shave *shudder*... just remember that we are one, what we do is good, we do more together, always. 

Our brotherhood, is on our face.

Oscar's Golden Beard Shines Bright

Forget about the falling on the way acceptance, the drug addled 'stars,' the mile a minute gibberish, the CGI bear or even Babs making people wet in the general eye area.

The Oscars last night were all about the beard. Full stop. Below is our proof, should you need it or missed it... we could go on pasting examples of fine facial hair fortitude, but thinking you agree we've made the case when the beardiest picture won top Honors, while best actor went to the dude protraying one of history's most famous beardo. 

Congrats Ben, you deserve it... you've come a long way since your hairless child-face in Reindeer Games. Kudos.

We are tagging this post under Beard Ball, because frankly that's what it was at heart, just take a look at the volume...

From the scruff of Liev...

To Jennifer Aniston's +1's slightly bigger mass:

Credit: Getty

The sly smile on Bradley's hairy face:

Credit: GettyTo Paul Rudd's Monet beard:

Credit: Herald SunHugh's chivalrous facial hair follicleness:

Tommy Lee's mainstay and tenured beard:

George's Oceanic chin mane:

And finally all the way to three producers, three beards, three Oscars... a billion smiling fans:

 

Of course our good friends at Pop Sugar already have a poll out who wore the best beard (though a limited selection). You can vote here.

BREAKING: Growing a beard is good for you

Beards, now with more science!

credit: DJ NATURE Poster at El Bar Bero
Don't say we didn't tell you so... but we did, and we were right. Beards are good, so good, they fight off cancer... yeah, that's right, fuck you cancer!

  • As per New Now Next a new study from the University of Southern Queensland, published in the Radiation Protection Dosimetry Journal, finds that beards block 90 to 95% of UV rays, thus slowing aging process and as an added bonus reduces the risk of skin cancer! Boom.
  • Remember all those jokes about crap stuck in people's beards? We are laughing last... per the study pollen and dust also get stuck one's facial hair, possibly reducing asthmatic issues... Boom, squared.
  • The study also reinforces the point that the longer/thicker the beard, the more moisture it retains while protecting your boyish face and perfect skin from wind. While on the flip side shows that shaving causes ingrown hairs which lead to bacterial infections also known as... acne! Kaboom.

Though the study was conducted on mannequins and not real beardos, we see a lot of validation in what we do, what you all grow and pretty much making sense of everything that is right with the world.

If you want to send us a thank you, you can email us at buildabeard@gmail.com

Game, Set, Mustache

You don't want to get in between an activist and their cause, nor should you want to strip outside on a breezy February morning in NYC... but, you should want to commend Holly Van Voast (who the NY Daily News describe as a "46-year-old serial stripper") for her killer stache.

Thanks Holly. Lesson learned... When your point cannot be made by writing, scream; when screaming wont help, get naked. When nudity just wont cut it... don a fake stache (if you can't grow one).

Kudos, way to #proveit.

MARC A. HERMANN/FOR NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

MARC A. HERMANN/FOR NEW YORK DAILY NEW

Brand Bowl Misses the Mark -- Will Ferrell to the Rescue

So, the Super Bowl is over, the more bearded team won, Colin Kaepernick will finally be forced to grow an actual beard vs. his awkward 'goatee'... all good things right?

Well, the commercials this year were something dreadful... really uninspiring (e.g. sleeping with horses sounds horrid; God didn't create farmers, he WAS one, Adam just pilfered his crops!), disengaging and most of all hairless. This is a shameful representation of our culture, and the bearded and facial hair arc we all know we are at the apex of (or better yet, climbing toward). This was a missed opportunity...

Unless you lived in a small part of the United States (tiny portions of Texas, Oklahoma and Montana, or perhaps Sweden)... then you saw a Will Ferrell Old Milwaukee commercial during your version of Super Bowl XLVII. Thanks Yahoo! News (and  of Shutdown Cornerfor the find. Enjoy the below folks, really, let your inhibition go and let the ad take you to that special, warm place... a place, with mustaches and better kissing abilities than Bar Refaeli.

P.S. This awesome stache on Mr. Ferrell almost makes us forgive his shaving of Conan O'Brien's chin mane... almost.

Beard Accessories: Google Glasses

According do the The Independent, the following gentleman was spotted in NYC subways... stealthily riding the bowls of our concrete jungle with a stylish black zip-up top, a black beanie and a smirk on his face, attached to a lovely salt and pepper beard.

The smirk may have been tied to the fact that he was experiencing the world in a new light, under a new form of data digestion, and perhaps even augmenting his reality. It was one Sergey Brin, founder of Google. We are by no means endorsing Google, or their wacky glasses, but hey... with that beard, all the accessories he has on, are looking better and better.

Looking good Sergey, looking good...